Probably the most important experience was my visit to Renaissance for family education week and then family restructuring. These were difficult, as was addiction treatment for my son, but they changed my life, stripped me of my rationalizations, made me understand that my behavior was crucial in my son's recovery. The confrontational approach of Caron Renaissance is out of favor in mainstream addiction treatment. It is seen as unhelpful. I don't agree. Caron Renaissance was the first time that my son faced consequences for his behavior. And I was confronted over my own behavior. I returned home after restructuring understanding how I needed to change.
That has taken a long time and has been helped additionally by good psychotherapy. I feel, after so long, that I really am beginning to detach and let him run his life on his own. And I can see already that this is having a positive impact on how he handles his life. I am becoming confident that he can do it. My current psychiatrist tells me that "acceptance" is crucial. That is the most difficult part. But I know he is right. And I continue to go to Alanon and other support meetings.